


A Box Full of Diamonds

by Solstice0612



Series: Homage to the Tablet Stories [1]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5088130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solstice0612/pseuds/Solstice0612
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A box full of diamonds and one hell of a stone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eilidh17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilidh17/gifts).



> For Eilidh17, who knows all about diamonds. My homage to the Tablet series.

The woman walked around the fabric shop in silence, considering her choices. Should she buy the big box of glittery rhinestones and sparkly appliqués on sale or should she wait until the next year to see if the kids were still interested in the dance competitions. So hard to say sometimes with kids these days. They were always finding new things to do….

She riffled through the box full of wonderful adornments and her fingers touched something warm and hard towards the bottom of the container. Did someone drop a cell phone in there? 

Curious, she reached farther down and wrapped her fingers around the object. It was black, sort of round and smooth, its flattened top incised with some strange writing. It buzzed slightly in her hand and suddenly she found herself in some kind of an office, standing in front of a desk. A man sat on the other side, his face illuminated by a lamp, the only light in the room. There were books everywhere… and some scary masks.

“What the hell!”

“What’s up, Jack?”

“Who is Jack?”

The man looked up and the woman felt her mouth hang open. That man! He was drop dead gorgeous and his eyes… well, how can anyone find the words to describe those big blue pools of…. sheer wonder?

“Jack?” 

“Uhm, the… uhm, I…”

The man stood up and reached across the desk, feeling with his fingers towards the upper shirt pocket of the confused person in front of him, “Where is it?”

“Hey, no touching!”

“Sorry… and you are?”

“My name is Candy,” she said stepping backwards.

“Hi Candy, I’m Daniel. I know you are confused. Please don’t be afraid. Here, sit down, take a deep breath….”

Daniel led Jack’s body to a chair and sat it down.

“I feel strange.”

“Do you remember touching a black stone?”

“I thought it was a cell phone.”

“Well, not exactly. Please, could you check in your pocket and see if the stone is there?”

“Hey, where is my body…? Oh my fucking god, my body!!!”

“Please don’t freak out. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

“But I’m not myself…”

“Oh, don’t cry… everything will be okay. This is temporary, I assure you.”

Daniel knelt down and gave Candy a big hug until she calmed down.

Pulling back he pointed towards the shirt pocket, “Do you mind if I take a look?”

Jack’s head nodded while his thin lip pouted. Daniel reached into the pocket and grabbed the stone, but Candy put her hand around it and did not let it go.

“Candy, if you give me the stone, you will get back to where you were. When you do, please take the stone and put it in a safe place. We’ll come back to get it. Please, write down your contact information so we can find you.”

Suddenly, a paper tablet appeared in front of her. She did as he asked, trying not to look at the fingers holding the pen that were not her own.

“Thank you. And something else… please don’t tell anyone about all this and the stone. Would you promise me?”

Candy looked into those huge blue eyes so intently focused on her. She didn’t have a shadow of a chance in resisting them. Yet… it would not hurt to ask...”

“Okay, I will if you promise me something.”

The man frowned, “Well it depends…”

“Would you kiss me goodbye?”

Daniel quickly lick his lips and gave her a lopsided smile.

“Sure…”

As those luscious, warm and moist lips touched her own Candy let go of the stone and suddenly found herself back on the fabric shop. Rats! Too soon. She grabbed the stone once more but nothing happened. She would try it later. She put the object back at the bottom of the box and grabbed her credit card. Competition or not, the box full of diamonds and the magic stone were coming home with her. 

The End


	2. Safe Tulle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Candy met Daniel, but Sandy and Jack picked tulle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This did not get a beta, so please bear with me.

The first thing Jack noticed when he opened his eyes was that the box in his hands was going to fall. Quickly, he lowered it onto the counter but kept the ancient communication stone firmly held in his palm.

This place did not look like a barber shop. His ninja senses had told him something was up and he half expected that Joe the Barber had found another stone.

He glanced around. Buttons and appliqués at 12PM, rolls of tulle and organza on his six, and racks with sewing stuff at 8PM--not his usual haunts.

He looked down at his body. Breasts! He reached with his hand and pocked: they were real. He was a woman! And yet, he was not entirely surprised. He already had the t-shirt on the inhabiting in other people’s bodies thing. Now, if he had been turned into a dog…. Oooooh, wouldn’t it be cool to experience the sheer blessing of dogginess?

Jack filed that thought in his mental drawer for “things to try if one can find a friend crazy enough to help.” He did not want his body to go running around like crazy at the first bouncing ball. Daniel would help, but could he trust him not to send him rushing after a flying stick? Hmmm…. he needed to think about that.

Daniel. Right. Get on with business. This woman must be with him in his office now, freaking out.

Jack searched around and saw the large tote bag on the floor near him. With a mild sense of guilt he rifled inside and found the wallet and the driver’s license. Candy something, age, hair color, eye color.... Yes, the address!

For crying out loud! What was an ancient stone doing in Australia! Ooooh, kangaroos! How far would he need to drive to see one? They are like bouncy dogs, right? It would be so much fun to play with one of them. Or be one…

Jack filed that thought in his mental drawer for “things to try if one can find a friend crazy enough to help.” Daniel. Right, back to business.

“Candy, sweetie, I’m checked out. Are you ready to go? The girls are waiting.”

Jack was startled. He chastised himself; he was getting sloppy. The woman had a distinct Texas twang and was wearing cowboy boots with her dress.

“Uhm… Not just yet. I want this box, but I’m not sure what else I need.”

“Didn’t you have a list in your tablet, sweetie?”

“Oh.” Jack glanced at the tote bag and saw a computer tablet tacked on the side that looked like Carter’s. He turned it on and the screen flashed with a long list of items he could not identify, except for tulle. He knew what that was. Tulle was safe.

“I need tulle.”

“Did you decide on the color?”

Before saying he had no idea, he searched the tote bag again. There was a sparkling green thing inside. He pulled it out; it was an unfinished dancing dress. “The black tulle with sparkly sequins would look nice, don’t you think?” asked Jack.

The woman thought for a moment, “Ya know, sweetie, everyone told me, ‘Sandy, go talk to Candy when you’re in Australia, she knows dresses.’ They sure were right; that’s a great choice.”

Jack managed to look smug, “Wonderful! I’ll check out and meet you and uhm… the girls outside.”

“Sure thing.”

Once Sandy was gone, he put his hand inside the rhinestones box and let the ancient stone go.

He open his eyes. Daniel was pulling away. He had the nagging feeling of having been kissed.

“Daniel, what did you do?”

“Just saying goodbye.”

Jack frowned.

“It’s in Australia. Got the address from the driver’s license.”

“Candy gave me her phone number.”

Jack raised his eyebrows.

“I asked nicely.”

“She’ll never recover.”

“Are we flying?”

“Odyssey. And Daniel?”

“What?”

“Kangaroos.”

Daniel rolled his eyes as he reached for the phone.

 

\--The End (for now)--


End file.
